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Stephanie Drenka


That One Moment

That One Moment

It never fails– just when I feel like I’ve finally found my blogging stride, life happens. I thought this weekend would be an opportune time for an update, but I didn’t know where to start. I can’t seem to quiet the white noise or resolve the cognitive dissonance of recent events. Until I can collect my thoughts in some sort of coherent way, I take inspiration from my favorite composer, Jason Robert Brown, and am left with moments.

“It’s about one moment
The moment before it all becomes clear
And in that one moment
You start to believe there’s nothing to fear
It’s about one second
And just when you’re on the verge of success
The sky starts to change
And the wind starts to blow
And you’re suddenly a stranger
There’s no explaining where you stand
And you didn’t know
That you sometimes have to go
Round an unexpected bend
And the road will end
In a new world”

(Songs for a New World)

The moment you return home from a long weekend away and find your hallway flooded. And about one second after the restoration company rips up your flooring to reveal the damaged asbestos-filled material you’ve been living with for three years.

That one moment when packing for a work trip becomes filling suitcases with the contents of your life, because you don’t know when you’ll be able to return home.

The moment you realize that even though you’re in one of the most populated cities in the world, you suddenly feel more alone than ever before.

In one moment, you learn that the plans you had for your family’s future might not be physically possible, and you suddenly feel like a stranger in your own body.

That one moment when you wake up from a weekend nap after a decade of being away from the theater and decide on a whim to audition for a musical.

It’s about one second when you receive an email saying that you’ve been cast in aforementioned musical, and you’re welcomed back into a community of artists.

And in that one moment, you’re surrounded by music and warmth and passion – and the voices in your head are temporarily quieted – and you find yourself desperately searching for a way to make peace a permanent fixture.

17 comments

  • Natalie Keinan

    September 17, 2016

    Beautifully written, Stephanie! So sorry to hear what you’re going through but congratulations on being cast in a musical! That is so exciting and I hope it brings you a lot of joy! *hugs*

    Natalie

    • Stephanie Drenka

      September 17, 2016

      Thank you, Natalie <3 But, more importantly-- happy hour soon??

  • Jenn Lake

    September 17, 2016

    …that moment when you read a blog post that’s thought-provoking, transparent, authentic, and heart wrenching. That moment when you want to reach out, help provide clarity, and extend kindness, solace and healing. Steph, my heart breaks for you with your home and recent struggles. On the flip side, I’m so happy for you that you’ve found a new place and group of people to bring you back to as close to center as possible. I appreciate your openness about life and what’s going on in your mind. Sending good vibes your way, lady!

    • Stephanie Drenka

      September 17, 2016

      Thank you, Jenn!! Your kind words and colorful feed *always* bring a smile to my face. So grateful to have met you through this strange and wonderful blogosphere <3

  • Leah

    September 17, 2016

    Love this Stephanie and you’re truly amazing! I can definitely relate. Keep pushing and discovering the beauty in the mess. Excited for the musical. Keep me updated. I would love to support! Xoxo, Leah

  • Caroline moore

    September 17, 2016

    Whoa! Lots of depth here! Hugs! Lots of great things and lots of theifs of joy can swirl all at once huh?

    And have fun in the musical – love listening to your insta stories!

  • Meagan

    September 17, 2016

    Love this and you, Steph. You are one of a kind and I value your friendship more than you know ❤️
    Praying for you and Holden during this difficult time. Stay strong and have an unwavering faith in God. Trust whole heartedly that He works ALL things together for your good. “May you be like a tree that’s planted by rivers of living water, that your leaf will not wither, and whatsoever you do, it shall prosper.”
    Xoxox

  • Ashley Brooke Nicholas

    September 17, 2016

    I’m so sorry for the troubles with your home and in your personal life, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Congratulations on your re-entry to theatre, and I hope that you can continue to find peace in your life. There’s nothing better than being around people who share your same passions and just get you. I feel like I’m coming home every time I step into a ballet class, and it helps me escape the crazy blog world and refocus on what I truly want out of life. I hope that you’ll have a similar experience with your musical!

    Thank you for writing such an honest and beautiful post. You never cease to inspire me!

    • Stephanie Drenka

      September 19, 2016

      Thank you, Ashley!! “Coming home” is the perfect description! It’s so good to have a creative escape once in awhile.

  • KrisTen

    September 19, 2016

    This makes me so happy. I was just thinking about you this morning, what a gorgeous voice you have, and how grateful I am to finally be onstage with you. I hope it can be an oasis for you.

    • Stephanie Drenka

      September 19, 2016

      Thank you so much, Kristen! I’m so in awe of all the talent in our cast and love the community we are building. It’s been amazing so far, just two weeks in!!

  • Emily Stafford

    September 20, 2016

    Stephanie! My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult and I can only imagine extremely frustrating time. Chris and I are here for you whatever you all may need and would love to have you all over soon for a home cooked meal that can warm the heart! Or maybe a puppy play date?! Also, so excited that you’re back at the theater! I would love to attend the show, please let me know dates and times! One more thing, you are so special and SO loved! Always here for you and thankful to have found such a beautiful ( in every sense of the word) and wonderful friend in you!

    • Stephanie Drenka

      September 20, 2016

      I heart you Em!! It’s really hard not seeing your smiling face every work day </3 Looking forward to a wine night soon and will definitely keep the home cooked meal invitation in mind!!

  • Advice for New Homeowners (from Someone Who Learned the Hard Way) | Stephanie Drenka

    June 22, 2017

    […] a flooded hallway (due to a leak from aforementioned air conditioning unit), which turned into the Great Asbestos Crisis of 2016. […]

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