If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page
– Mark Houlahan
Today I came into the office early and cleaned out my desk. I cringed while recycling drafts that I created two years ago. Despite the mild intolerance I have for my replacement, it forced me to recall the days when my design skills left much to be desired. It also reminded me how much I’ve grown since I started working at the Career Center and what this office has done for me.
The summer after my freshman year was miserable. I had absolutely no purpose being in Chicago except to be closer to my boyfriend-at-the-time, who I was sure would cheat on me if I was further away in Texas. I lived in an apartment with no air conditioning, cable, or friendly faces. My roommate, his friend, listened in on my phone conversations when I would call home or my best friend crying because I was so depressed, and reported back to him. I had no money, no will to thrive, and very well might have moved back to Texas for good that summer had it not been for a chance message from a friend asking me if I was interested in working at the Career Center.
This is it. The end of an era. Even though I’m not technically moving until the last weekend of September, it feels like my chapter is closing as I leave my job. This was the final thing keeping me grounded in Chicago. Besides Lizette, who has a tendency to get physically beaten in clubs when I am not there to keep her out of harm’s way, I don’t feel as though my moving will lessen anyone’s quality of life. It’s this knowledge that assures me that my time here is at an end.
When you stop feeling as though you are making a difference in the lives of those people whom you care most about, something needs to change. I’ve never felt so isolated or…forgotten, maybe, by my close friends as I do at this moment.
My life has taken me in a drastically different direction and I have to leave before the feeling of being left behind takes a greater toll on my spirit. But while I’m grieving what is over, I am even more thrilled about what is to come. I can say with complete candor that I love life. I feel that everything I have suffered through and what I learned in dealing with said pain, was shaping me for this moment. Karma, luck… or pure magic has brought me someone that makes me finally ready to put my past behind me and start anew.
I will have my happily ever after. I need only to turn the page.