No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.
– Agnes DeMille
I can’t pretend like nothing has changed. My entire existence has been turned on its head, and I am struggling to maintain balance so that my life does not topple. I have two full older sisters, who are probably close to my age. I have a birth father, who did not in fact abandon a single mother, but was married to her and unable to work due to tragic circumstances– who died in 2004 at the age of 42.
I met my foster mother, who cared for me in my infancy, and was unable to communicate with her because of my poor knowledge of the Korean language. I am ashamed of myself for never taking the time to learn more, and know that this is something I will regret forever if not remedied.
I cannot be indifferent any longer. I have a birth family who must have endured hardships that I can never imagine- whose sacrifice is the reason I was blessed with such a wonderful life. I have to find them and thank them.
I need to learn the language of my birth country. I want to be immersed in Korean culture so that when I have children of my own, I can offer them at least some knowledge of their roots– which was something I never had growing up. I want them to be proud that they are of Korean blood and understand the cultural, political, and social implications of their heritage.