“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” (Henry Thoreau)
When Holden asked me this week what I’d like as a present for my 30th birthday, my head started reeling. The endless possibilities led me down a rabbit hole.
Maybe I’d like a pair of Christian Louboutin heels to commemorate 30 years of living… but, I never really wear heels anymore, and I’d hate to scuff them up. Perhaps a designer investment handbag? Except, for that same price I could buy a new camera lens! Although, before I get another lens, I should probably upgrade my DSLR body… but I’ve been cutting back on photography, and would feel pressure to take on more work to justify the purchase.
“So, what do you want?”
My thoughts echoed his question– what do I want?
After a few days of reflection, I realized that receiving a grand commemorative gift was not how I wanted to start the next decade of my life. I don’t want to go into my 30’s feeling burdened by a thing. In the past ten years, I’ve been blessed with gifts beyond measure, but instead of appreciating them fully, I think I got lost along the way chasing after the unknown.
What I want for this new chapter is to be present. Be intentional in my choices– of purchases, commitments, friends. To pare down the frivolous, extraneous, and superficial. To grow through rich experiences, and learn from past mistakes. To challenge myself artistically and remember what it’s like to create for pleasure instead of profit.
You may have noticed that I’ve taken this resolution literally and even eliminated some of the unnecessary chaos from my blog design. I’ve been blogging since I was 20 and over the course of a decade, I stopped writing and started selling. This blog is my Walden pond, and I’m excited to discover what it has to teach me during the next ten years.
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)