It never fails– just when I feel like I’ve finally found my blogging stride, life happens. I thought this weekend would be an opportune time for an update, but I didn’t know where to start. I can’t seem to quiet the white noise or resolve the cognitive dissonance of recent events. Until I can collect my thoughts in some sort of coherent way, I take inspiration from my favorite composer, Jason Robert Brown, and am left with moments.
“It’s about one moment
The moment before it all becomes clear
And in that one moment
You start to believe there’s nothing to fear
It’s about one second
And just when you’re on the verge of success
The sky starts to change
And the wind starts to blow
And you’re suddenly a stranger
There’s no explaining where you stand
And you didn’t know
That you sometimes have to go
Round an unexpected bend
And the road will end
In a new world”
(Songs for a New World)
The moment you return home from a long weekend away and find your hallway flooded. And about one second after the restoration company rips up your flooring to reveal the damaged asbestos-filled material you’ve been living with for three years.
That one moment when packing for a work trip becomes filling suitcases with the contents of your life, because you don’t know when you’ll be able to return home.
The moment you realize that even though you’re in one of the most populated cities in the world, you suddenly feel more alone than ever before.
In one moment, you learn that the plans you had for your family’s future might not be physically possible, and you suddenly feel like a stranger in your own body.
That one moment when you wake up from a weekend nap after a decade of being away from the theater and decide on a whim to audition for a musical.
It’s about one second when you receive an email saying that you’ve been cast in aforementioned musical, and you’re welcomed back into a community of artists.
And in that one moment, you’re surrounded by music and warmth and passion – and the voices in your head are temporarily quieted – and you find yourself desperately searching for a way to make peace a permanent fixture.