To my loved daughter whom I missed and wanted to see even in my dreams,
I’m so sorry and my heart aches so, what to write
I’m not sure
I’m so sorry, and sorry again!
I met your father when I was so young and immature,
as humans what we should not have done was done.
After we sent you off like that, not much time later your father and I
separated and oldest sister [went to your mother’s family] middle sister
went to your {father’s side} grandmother and spent their childhood far apart so that
your father could live with another woman, and I went to Seoul to earn money.
Because your father had another woman, he didn’t care for the family
words really can’t express the heartache I’ve had
Back then, we thought at least you could go live somewhere nice without worries about money
in my heart I believed even if just you could live in a better environment
so I chose adoption, and I wasn’t allowed to search for you
For 10 months, the child growing inside me
how could a mother ever forget?
Sleeping or awake, I couldn’t forget you, the one I wanted to see
Seeing your photo, I see you are living brightly and beautifully
I’m thankful and thankful again.
A love for a daughter that is so strong that even if you poke in the eye doesn’t hurt
I’m sorry and sorry again
A badly-born person with many sins, can you forgive your mother?
Perhaps if your father hadn’t taken you to the orphanage…
sadness and regrets are overcoming me.
After you were born and I was alone holding you, and you looked
so similar to your second [middle] sister.
In that short time, I wanted you hold you until I died
it’s a feeling I still can’t forget today
Even though I made this decision for your happiness, I had so much regret
A few years later, the woman living with your father left
and your {father’s side} grandmother had a stroke, your 2nd sister was left to care for the home
and your oldest sister was living at {mother’s side} family home
First older sister and second older sister could meet out very rarely
and they would cry that they missed me, and many sad years
were spent that way
Once after working in Seoul, I went to visit my family’s home
your grandmother {mother’s side} begged me to think of my poor children
and the sacrifice I made, thinking of my one daughter as absent
she cried and latched onto me begging me to reunite with your father
We {parents} lived together and your younger brother was born
On March 15, 2004 only after your father passed away
I told your sisters the story of you
Your sisters, wanting to find you, worked with the organization and organizer
called and searched in efforts to find you but
since your father passed away, all of our efforts fell short
and we couldn’t find you.
The orphanage had sent you to adoption, not much time after
your case was closed, and the last string broke away
I’m so sorry
I couldn’t even give you a name. A name like KyungSung even sounds pretty
you are beautifully and proudly living up to your name
and I’m thankful for that.
Even if in a dream, the daughter I love who I wanted to see even once
KyungSung ah! I’m so sorry and sorry again.
Despite the circumstances, you live so brightly and beautifully
even if I die, I could do so without regret
my daughter I love.
I await the day we meet again, my KyungSung
the ones who raised you to be so bright and beautiful
from my heart I want to give great thanks to your adoptive parents
Please tell them again how greatly grateful I am to them.