The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. (Maya Angelou)
To my readers, I feel as though I owe you an apology. Or if not an apology, at least an explanation, for my absentee blogging. I’ve relied on my lovely contributors to cover for me during what’s been an unexpectedly difficult period.
I’ve kept this blog rather impersonal, and I have to admit that it’s kept me from developing a real connection to it. When I started my first blog, I was in college and struggling with my identity, relationships, and other growing pains. I wrote for clarity and reflection, instead of to review products or get invited to blogger events. With each blog I’ve started (and left unfinished) since then, I’ve become more and more disassociated. Somewhere along the journey, I lost my love for blogging.
At 27 years old, settled in my career and engaged to the man of my dreams, I thought I had outgrown my need for a blog as an outlet and writing as therapeutic. Those of you who follow me on Facebook may already know that my fiancé and I are in the process of buying our first house together. I sat down tonight, frustrated with my lack of blogging motivation, and logged into Polyvore with the intent of creating a quick outfit collage so I’d at least have something to post.
I was browsing the site and came across a “Design Your Inner Sanctum” contest. One of the reasons I’ve been so detached from this website lately is because I’ve been in a funk.
I opened a blank canvas on Polyvore and start creating a set for my “inner sanctum”– the dream I have for us when we come home after a long day of work and recharge together. I wanted to incorporate our favorite mint color– the hue that we had immediately picked for our wedding palette when we were so excited and hopeful for our big day. The ampersand is the statement decor, to represent the fact that it’s him and I as a team from now on. And a pillow to remind me to relax once in awhile.
Because the wedding will come and go, we’ll find our house regardless of what others want for us, and when we finally make it through these trials, I will fall asleep next to him every night in the “inner sanctum” of our home.
Never did I imagine that I would find such a calming release from Polyvore, but sometimes you just get lost and have to be reminded by the smallest things about what is truly important.