Pole Dancing: A Love Story

“You become strong by doing the things you need to be strong for.” – Audre Lorde

What are the stories we tell ourselves?
“I’m not athletic.”
Since elementary school – when I cheated on my Presidential Physical Fitness test (by skipping one of the laps I was supposed to do during the mile run) – I told myself (and others) that sports were not for me.
But it was okay, because I had music or theater or writing.
I didn’t realize my skills had inadvertently become limitations.
When my marriage fell apart, I told myself that it was my fault.
I was too old.
I had let myself go.
“I’m not enough.”
Divorce felt like the end.
The best days were behind me.
But the truth was, they hadn’t even started yet.
After enrolling in a pole dancing fitness program on a whim, I learned tricks, techniques, and – most importantly – how strong I am.
I realized that divorce and pole dancing are similar in many ways.
There is a stigma attached to them.
People judge you for it.
But it’s actually one of the hardest things a person can do.
It requires strength you don’t know you have until you have to use it.
You must overcome a fear of falling, the unknown.

With each spin, a piece of my heart healed.
Every climb was an apology to my body for years of blame.
After only a month of classes, I choreographed and performed a routine so I could graduate from novice to intermediate level.